The seasons are changing, some experiencing the transition from the warm summer to colder nights and shorter days, like we on the Southern Hemisphere. Others – and that is the majority of people – seeing longer days and warmer weather, the flowers coming out of their hibernation as a bulb, and a zing is in the air: a vibration of life and the love for life.
The word ‘LOVE’ didn’t make it into the most commonly used words in 2020, which have been mainly concerned with ‘pandamic’ ‘lock down’ and ‘remote’ for understandable reasons we are all aware of. But that doesn’t mean that it is not used frequently, particularly in never-ending netflix series or as a phrase of greeting family members: ‘ See you soon, I love you…’ What is said here in truth? : ‘ I depend on you so don’t you dare to leave me’. This is not love, but attachment, and often used as a plea (or sometimes even a threat) not to be alone.
In family constellation we use the word LOVE in a different way. It is neither romantic nor stereotype, in fact is has a strong impact on the family system and can heal generation old family wounds: The word YES or I LOVE YOU has an extremely strong impact to let stuck energy flow again between 2 people in a family dynamic.
Bert Hellinger has discovered the power of words and integrated them into his family constellation work. He used: YES, PLEASE and THANK-YOU, 3 words to express any kind of relationship between family members. I lately have discovered, these words, used to clear entanglements, can be substituted with also 3 words, but always the same: I LOVE YOU.
When we’re longing for a change in our lives but don’t know how to give it a new direction, or we’re suffering from an emotional or physical disease, the reason is once again often hidden in the family system. One of the family members, going back 7 generations, has been denied the love that he/she was entitled to. The family soul will not forget this! It aims for a flow of love from each family member through the generations to the current one to nourish every family member equally. If the love has been denied at one point and got stuck, the whole family system is out of balance and the following descendants will feel this from mild disorientation to severe pain.
The resolution here is that the family member who has hold back the love towards another family member is facing him/her and says: I LOVE YOU! This can be done with a family constellation in a workshop or one-on-one session where the family members are being represented by other participants or even objects. Instantaneously the love will flow again, and from here down to all generations to the one who is suffering now. And the result? Everything is possible again, every kind of change will be supported by the family soul, now that the nourishing love from the family system is providing life-force again equally to all and therefore also to the one who is suffering, who now is able to self-heal again.
Have a lovely May!